It’s that time of year again. Oh, how time flies when you’re… Well. Ahem. Infuriated. Yes, I’m referring to February where rock fans from all over the world rejoice in voicing their resentment towards the national hall intended to represent the most pivotal and idolised artists of the genre. Every time the snub list stacks higher, the artists stray further and the nail biting anxiety continues on whether the deserving artists will get nominated whilst they’re still, y’know, around. Yet history repeats itself time and time again. As a matter of fact, it’s becoming even more insufferable. Dolly Parton? Lionel Ritchie? Duran Duran? Let that sync in. There’s more ‘rock n roll’ in the hall’s broken microwave than that; at least it’s no longer a tool being used only to serve industry professionals. Yet still there’s no traces of Iron Maiden, Soundgarden, Styx, Motley Crue… I could go on. Is this the straw that breaks the camel’s back? Is it time to remove the three renowned words ‘Rock n’ Roll’ that spark the controversy?

Before this continues. There’s unresolved conflict that’s been rumbling the industry for years. Want to hear it? Buckle up folks, here we go. “But… But… Rock n’ Roll is an attitude. Other people with similar alignments in behaviour and societal viewpoints should be recognised too.” Whilst it’s definitely true to an extent, there’s also a major fallacy. A genre is heavily defined by its sound. This year’s Eminem definitely couldn’t be associated with Sex Pistols musically. Whilst they both share rebellion politically and lead an extensive lifestyle, there’s no correlation in sound. Yes, hip hop should have it’s own hall of fame but why should it be prioritised over other musicians that coincide with the actual purpose of the hall? It’s ludicrous.

Hypothetically, where will the line be drawn? If the margin keeps expanding on who gets in then it’ll become so detached from the original intent that we could be seeing Doja Cat yelling into a variant of Tik Tok in the future about her nomination. If you suddenly feel queasy after that ghastly glimpse into an alternative reality, have a lay down on me. Seriously though, if there’s no self-evident correlation or if it isn’t directly influenced by Rock n’ Roll, why does it belong there? It’s unnecessary and demeaning to the artists that actually are correlated with the genre.

What’s also exasperating is the sheer ignorance towards actual rock artists (wow, who would have thought?) outside of the United States that are recognised and have had significant impact elsewhere. One prime example being Status Quo. Regardless on whether you despise or adore them, their success and influence within British rock is undeniable. Yet The Cars are in there. Yeah, you got that right. The one’s crying about their best friend’s girlfriend. Seriously, who asked for that? Even commercially they’re not even in the same league; The Cars have sold 23 Million records whereas Quo have sold 118 Million records. That alone speaks volumes – get it? Cuz rock is loud, heh, heh… Quite frankly, that’s insulting. Just because you aren’t commercially successful in the US of A, it shouldn’t exclude you from being considered, surely? Right? Right?

All this really makes you question the integrity of the hall and whether the name is still fit for purpose. If bands deserving of their place are getting overlooked because they’re disliked by the corporation executives, is that really ‘Rock n Roll?’ The sole intent of the genre is rebel against the social regime and defy those in a position of power without remorse. Having the recipients cherry picked from a white man in a blazer and tie that wants to please the CEO they were just scoffing tofu with in their yacht is the antithesis of what the hall should be about. Let’s not get into a state of denial here; there’s very few rock fans out here on their knees demanding that Dolly Parton enters. It begs the question- who are the people that are qualified in choosing the artists deserving a place in this so called ‘prestigious’ hall? What attributes do they have over the general population of rock fans to determine who is more influential than someone else? Does this mean public opinion doesn’t matter when they are the ones listening to the music? It certainly feels that way.

With all that considered, there’s two ways the branding can go. Either take a gigantic U-turn by renaming the museum the ‘Music Hall Of Fame’ or retire the ‘Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame’, leaving its legacy in the past and opening a new hall for all genres. Either way, with the current excruciatingly frustrating nominees – besides a few – there’s no going back from here. It’s a punchline in the majority of the genres’ fans eyes. This is a shame; as a fan of classic rock and metal myself, I speak for a lot of fans when I say it would’ve been nice to have one location where the most eminent artists could be celebrated. I guess you can’t have it all, eh? Plus, there’s always next yea… Doh! Force of habit. Hang up your boots RNR HOF, it’s for everyone’s own good.

By Jack Bartholomew

Last week it was announced that The Killers had made UK ‘chart history’ with their instantly recognizable hit ‘Mr Brightside.’ Yes, as a Killers fan I can admit, they have much stronger material that deserves more recognition. Yes, the song is over a decade and a half old. Yes, it is played at every street corner. It was just refreshing to see an indie rock band get the attention of mainstream media outlets. Yet, still people weren’t satisfied. Who wasn’t? Indie fans. Wait. What!? The same fans that complained about the genre not getting enough acknowledgement for it’s achievements are flaring-up when it does!? Hypocrisy at its finest. “They’re not indie enough”, “I never liked them”, “why wasn’t it Echo And The Bunnymen?” We get it. Your ‘darling’ bands weren’t in the limelight. Boohoo! Just accept that a band in your beloved genre has got people outside of your circle talking. This is happening too frequently and it’s debilitating the collective genre. Not just in indie but rock and metal too.

If you’ve made it this far into the article you’re probably wondering ‘what’s wrong with disliking certain bands?’ Well, let me explain. Let’s be honest to ourselves here, rock and metal haven’t exactly been thriving in terms of mainstream popularity in the last ten years. In fact, it’s seldom to even see the genre even delicately brush on that territory. When it does, shouldn’t we celebrate? I’m not exactly fond of Bring Me The Horizon but I don’t constantly weep publicly when they’re widely discussed. It’s refreshing to see a young(ish) band strive within the metal genre and headline arenas. Still, there are people that take great pleasure in writing “that’s not metal” or “sell outs’ under everything affiliated with them. It’s toxic and will more than likely turn people away from the genre as a whole if anything.

You may dislike certain bands that are successful but it’s these ‘sell outs’ that will create more exposure to newer fans who are likely to branch off and discover other artists within the genre. It should be encouraged for these artists to have success not to diminish them at any opportunity. The real perplexity is the same people that devote their time to complaining are the ones complaining that pop and rap are always in the charts and getting attention. It reeks of hypocrisy. It really does.

Though I touched on this earlier, don’t get me started on the “that’s not metal” crowd. When anyone is categorized in that genre who doesn’t meet their niche requirements automatically they don’t qualify to be affiliated with it whatsoever. This seems to be the scenario with any newer artist that has broken into popularity. Just look at… I’m going to say it… Ghost. Dun! Dun! Dunnnnn!!! Arguably they’re one of the most successful bands to come out the genre in the past ten years. Metal purists are intimidated by their existence and will continue until their last breath to inform you they’re not heavy. Sure, there’s heavier bands out there but preference exists. Some people prefer more commercial metal with an eccentric twist. They still play to arenas around the world and are, like it or not, considered metal by a majority of people.

Recently rock and metal have been attracting more eyes than it has in some time. Architects’ For Those That Wish To Exist reached number one in the UK. People complained they’re too generic and overly produced. Alice Cooper’s Detroit Stories reached number three in the charts. People still complained proclaiming he should retire, whilst still dismantling younger bands. Arctic Monkeys achieved the fasted selling vinyl in twenty five years in 2018. People complained they’re too commercial or monotonous. Where does this end!?

People even complain when other genres collide and attempt introducing a new style to a different demographic. In 2019, Post Malone collaborated with Ozzy Osbourne. It’s encouraging to see two entirely different worlds collide. The perfect opportunity to introduce new people to the greatness of our genre. People were stupefied at the very thought of it. Some were even insisting it had ruined Ozzy’s career. My only response to that is grow up. Let’s be honest, the same people probably praise Aerosmith and Run DMC’s ‘Walk This Way’ to the moon. Once again, two different worlds colliding. If done well, it is beneficial for fans on both sides. It also carries a burden on other rock fans that we’re all close-minded. Why would people from the pop or rap orientated world want to join our community if we’re perceived like that?

All I’m really trying to say is: GUITAR ROCK FANS HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER. We’re scarce. A dying breed. Appreciate what is popular. If we keep complaining about what is what isn’t in our genre as soon as it becomes popular there’ll be a real predicament. We need to cherish what we have now and allow them to expand. After all, who are we to shun bands? Rock n roll, heavy metal, indie rock, industrial metal, prog rock…. They’re not just a sound. They’re a lifestyle, an image, a community… Fans live and breathe for it. Don’t let that die because of ignorance. Let’s stand together as proud rock fans and celebrate preference in our community. Not shoot down someone who isn’t the enemy.

By Jack Bartholomew

I know what you’re expecting. “Cancel cancel culture.” Was that the quote you thought I’d recite? Whilst essentially it’s the truth in most circumstances, I wasn’t going to use it but now it’s been mentioned, I’ll say it again. Cancel cancel culture. Again? Cancel cancel culture!!! I can say it louder. CANCEL CANCEL CULTURE! Happy now? Well, now we’re on the same page and have established that it’s detrimental to society, let’s talk about how it’s decimating to the music industry and disallowing anybody to surpass boundaries. Here we go…

First and foremost, let’s define ‘cancel culture’ in the simplest terms. The premise is people that feel the need to voice their opinion on social media in an overbearing manner because they disapprove of something that has been vocalized either recently or in the past. Then, like a petulant child, they want to throw a tantrum until it disintegrates from existence by campaigning on social media platforms. This could range from a celebrity, film or a song. In most instances, it almost certainly is affiliated with a person who they deem as responsible.

Whilst I can understand some instances like if a celebrity has committed an unforgivable crime, the reasoning for most individuals is ludicrous and taken entirely out of its contextual environment. In most instances their ideology comes down to “I don’t like this, please erase it from existence.” It can ruin an individual’s reputation especially when their perception of the “truth” spreads over mainstream media or trends on social media. It’s changing society rapidly and now it’s beginning to restrain any creative freedom from people within the music industry. This is problematic because, y’know, music is an art form!

One of the more recent tragedies has been Eminem. People have been insisting that he’s a rapist sympathizer because he wrote the song ‘Love The Way You Lie’ eleven years ago. Yes, the song was written from a rapist’s perspective but it’s not exactly glorifying it. Art is allowed to reflect upon deplorable acts and you CAN do that from the individual’s perception to make an impact about their heinous thoughts. That doesn’t make somebody evil, does it? Are we not allowed to discuss the flaws in our society in case a small minority are offended? Ludicrous!

Imagine if the ‘cancel culture’ crowd became aware of the existence of Alice Cooper’s ‘Cold Ethyl’, a song from a man’s perspective about killing his wife, locking her in a fridge and committing necrophilia. Yet, does that make the born again Christian, golfer that regularly does charitable work for the community a depraved individual? No; it’s all about context. It’s part of a conceptual album about a nightmare – the song itself is providing some dark humor in its ridiculousness. What’s so difficult to understand about that? Is it really a concept that is complicated?

If this continues authenticity will officially be dead. You won’t be allowed to write anything that doesn’t align with their very specific and uneducated beliefs. Which means every artist will be a product of the system. Fuck! Isn’t there enough of them? Just imagine, it’s 2032, you’re browsing through Spotify and anything mildly inventive has been removed due to the fear of these people. You’re stuck listening to a hack justifying their every choice of word because they’re too afraid to voice any opinion or statement that causes harm to their career. Everything pre-2015 has gone. ARRRRGGGHHHH!!! I’m getting a migraine just thinking about it.

The angry mob have also been infuriated by past statements by artists too. Acting like they’re the principle of a school angry at a student for stating something they think is unacceptable. Sometimes, it is, but very rarely. It makes you wonder if it’ll soon impact the personality of international music superstars. How boring will the music industry become? Everyone will be too scared to say anything.

Imagine if the Sex Pistols were around in modern day civilization. They couldn’t make a statement on any beliefs or act courageous as people might tweet about them on social media in an attempt to ruin their career. Why? They’re not doing anything harmful other than their rebellious antics and provides us with entertainment whilst they do it. Nowadays. it’d be seen as ‘reckless’ or ‘anti-social’; people would be advocating for festivals to remove them from the lineups, get Spotify to delete them entirely and disallow them from entering any talk shows.

This needs to end. Desperately. If people don’t stop giving in to the ridicule we really are setting up for a tedious, insipid future with no variety. We’ll have no one to challenge the democratic system or at least not in an intriguing, powerful way. It’ll limit artists visuals and integrity. We need to teach the people advocating to erase artistry how context goes a long way. Not everything what you see is in black and white. Sometimes you have to read between the lines to diversify your knowledge on certain subjects. Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean you have permission to demolish it.

By Jack Bartholomew

An award should be a prestigious trophy of excellence that certifies you’ve exceeded every other contestant you were up against. It’s a proud achievement that is seen as admirable and establishes credibility to the casual spectator that watches them collect the honorable trophy. The Grammys are a disgrace to that proposition. ‘Why are they this diabolical embarrassment to the broader spectrum of society?’ you may wonder. Let me explain. If you win a race, you’d cross the finish line and claim the trophy. Out of all the other contestants you’ve displayed why you deserve the throne. It wasn’t manifested by propaganda, bias or capitalism.

‘Wow! Those are some allegations Mr Earie Entertainment, care to back them up?’ if you’re now thinking that you’ve reached the right location. Let’s do a history lesson. Rewind to 1989. There’s spandex, mullets and high wasted jeans after every bat of an eyelid. The award for ‘Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance Vocal or Instrumental’ is being announced. The name Jethro Tull’ is read out. You’re questioning whether you’re living some alternate reality in the Twilight Zone. In what universe are they hard rock or metal!? I understand music is subjective but you can’t bend the reality of the situation. It’s the equivalent of proclaiming that Pantera are indie. It’s absurd.

Now everybody knows by now there’s been a prolonging bias against rock and metal at the awards ceremony for years. That’s a subject for another day. What I will state though is the only reason for this is because rock doesn’t make enough money for the corporations. This year, solely just to attract the attention of the media, all the rock nominees were female. Which is fantastic… If any of them were actually considered to be marginally in that genre. Our community has been excluded enough by them yet they still continue to methods to maintain an admirable image whilst showing their bias towards the genre.

Whilst we’re on that train of thought let’s discuss their fictitious agenda. The Grammys want to appear politically correct to appease the masses but it’s ingenuine. They’ll pull a stunt like including all females for the “rock” category yet there’s still casual racism. Last year Tyler The Creator won best rap album despite it not being a rap album. He claimed that they always place black artists within the urban or rap categories. How out of touch are the people judging it? Clearly this isn’t about artistry, it’s about money.

The Grammys ceremony is an excuse for the industry executives to gather round in a circle and complements each other. It’s a money making event, not an awards ceremony. They don’t judge on the quality of the record just the quantity that it has sold. If you’re not an industry hack the likelihood of you winning a major award is very slim. My reference there is thrown at “artists” under a major label making music that’s not made for artistry just for corporate gain. There’s nothing genre defining or divergent about it whatsoever. You can’t tell me Taylor Swift’s ‘Folklore’ isn’t deja vu. If you played that alongside every album that was released in the last year, it wouldn’t stand out as anything you hadn’t heard previously.

This isn’t a music ceremony. Would a music ceremony be more concerned about what the artist is wearing than the quality of the record? All the news articles from the mainstream media about last night’s event are just discussing the dresses and suits everybody was wearing. NEWS FLASH, this isn’t a fucking fashion show. It’s a MUSIC ceremony. Harry Styles could literally go onstage literally walking circles around the microphone stand whilst a backing track of his music blares and people would still be discussing what he was wearing. It’s madness and just makes The Grammys look even more of a punchline to music fans.

In short, The Grammys don’t matter anymore. If you had any integrity as an artist you would stand up to the corporate hacks and throw that award in a dumpster fire where it belongs. The award is meaningless and no longer adds anything to an artist’s career. The fact that Beyonce’s daughter can get one at 9 years old last night says it all. If she weren’t related to them she’d be sitting and watching with her family like all the other children out there. That gleaming, lustrous awards comes from the money in your pockets for buying into their scam. Don’t let them fool you any longer!

By Jack Bartholomew

What exactly defines the “norm” nowadays? Do you have to continually sprint to the latest trend to meet the current amendments made by our society? This is something that sprung to my mind recently in light of the allegations against Marilyn Manson, which are heinous acts definitely worthy of a disgusted reaction. What I didn’t expect so see, however, in lieu of these despicable crimes, is the astounding amount of people using this as an excuse to throw abuse at goth and alternative culture. It’s hard to believe that in 2021 people are still being discriminated for their individuality including what they choose to wear, the genre of music they appreciate, their hairstyles and, even in some severe cases, their personality. Why is this still happening? Are we really this underdeveloped as a society?

An incident that sticks out to me is the brutal attack on Sophie Lancaster and her boyfriend, Robert Maltby in 2007, which ended with her being viciously murdered by a depraved gang. Why? All because they looked ‘different’. The teenagers then celebrated after sending Sophie into a thirteen day coma because she was a “mosher.” The term “mosher” has been around since rock was invented and sources at the time reported that the attackers parents’ behavior impacted their crime. This indicates that it’s been an ongoing issues for years that clearly hasn’t been resolved. Both Sophie and Robert were described by their parents as non-confrontational. They did nothing except exist and these oxygen thieves were intimidated by their individuality and attacked them. It makes my blood boil. Why would you want to cause damage to somebody that expresses themselves. Disgusting behavior.

The fact that these hate crimes still exist is beyond belief. Teens in schools are still hurdled abuse by the “normal” kids. By “normal” I’m referring to the capitalist loving, highest brand of fashion wearing brat that does everything possible to appease their friends that could be an identical clone. Yeah, that “normal.” On social media people are being treated like they’re minuscule for looking a certain way or listening to a certain genre of music. Outside of certain concerts fans are being abused simply for lining up in their favorite outfit to see an artist they adore. This is unacceptable. Haven’t we learnt how to accept different cultures? I can’t even believe that this is an issue we should be discussing in modern times.

Discrimination isn’t just exclusive to goth culture; it’s all alternative genres. Punk, rock n’ roll, heavy metal… I could go on. If you don’t listen to an artist that fits their expectations or isn’t grounded enough you become a “misfit”, an “outcast”, a “freak” or “weird.” Society nominates you as a non-associate; you’re immediately treated differently. Even if you listen to that genre without fully embracing it, people will still still glare at you with judgement. It’s almost as if you committed a homicide for enjoying an art or a mood and interpreting it into your personality.

After being in the rock/alt community for as long as I can remember I have experienced some of this first hand. Upon meeting new people I’ve had some comment on a shirt I’m wearing of a band and they’ll say “oh, I didn’t know you listen to that shouty stuff” implying I’m supposed to look or act a certain way if I’m heavily invested in a genre. Even when lining up for shows – everyone knows I always arrive early for a position at the front – I’ve heard people yell “emos!!” I’m not the only one this has happened to either; there’s been stories and social media posts about this from friends and associates that have experienced those exact issues.

A misleading stereotype that originated from grunge is that all rock/metal fans are depressed loaners that despise their existence. Let me assure you now, that is not true. Does that mean that all science fiction fans are rocket scientists? There’s no correlation. You’re allowed to enjoy an exceptionally well written song about sorrow when you’re happy – you don’t have to wear the emotion to enjoy a genre. Hell, most music from the genre isn’t on that subject matter anyway; it’s extremely diverse. Judgmental is an understatement.

All I ask is that you think before you curse a community. We’re not blood addled maniacs that’ll bite a chunk out of your flesh just for crossing our path. The vast majority of the community are peaceful like-minded people that just appreciate a different fashion or music genre to you. I just reinforce an infamous point; everyone in this world is different, we all appreciate different aspects of life. It’s what makes us human. Doesn’t that make us all weird?

Now, this is calling all you cool cats and kittens… I mean, all the awesome people of the community. Embrace it! Don’t act on the judgement from others. What makes us powerful is that we’re confident in our niche little bubble. The toxic people in society have tried to defame us but we kept fighting to the point we’re at now. Keep owning your eccentricity. So what if you’re different? It definitely makes us protrude over the sinking basic person that pretends to only like everything only because it’s verified by others. Own the look. Own the sound. Own your individuality. Why change who you are to meet the requirement of others?

By Jack Bartholomew

Happy New Year everybody! It’s 2021 and still no flying cars, how disappointing. What’s even more devastating is that the music industry is on its knees crawling for survival like a helpless starved human in a desert deprived of food and water. Tragic. Musicians can release all the pseudo, quirky lockdown anthems they wrote whilst losing sanity trapped in the walls of their own realms they want but it won’t save the music venues where the songs would usually be performed. It’s tragic. Scrap that; it’s absolutely traumatizing to witness! Though, as humans being… Well, being human, we have to make the best out of a shit situation. That’s why live streams for musical artists are a way to counteract the missing void in our lives at this troubled time.

I watched the Kiss livestream about a month ago. Don’t get me wrong; it’s Kiss. You’re going to have to pay top prices, it’s going to be excessively high budget, Ace isn’t going to come out and reclaim HIS outfit…. Ahem, does anyone else detect a can of worms being opened? Nonetheless, I had a moment of realization on New Year’s Eve whilst awaiting the ‘stream to end all streams.’ It was almost spiritual – as if the heaven and earth aligned whilst my soul was levitating into eternal well-being. I was actually excited! Whilst sat at home on my sofa on New Year’s Eve sipping a beverage my palms were sweaty in anticipation, I wanted to stand up, sing, cheer and my eyes were fixated on the screen the entire time awaiting the next song on the set list. Unbelievable. Who’d thought being at home could be so gleeful?

What persuaded me to not check into a mental asylum after was so many people had an equal amount zeal for the show. Some were photographing their screens, printing off set lists, filming their favorite songs and even re-watching it as soon as it finished to live it again. It was encouraging to smiles on everybody’s faces and bringing them entertainment in this trying time.

No, I’m not insinuating that Kiss are enchanting us all out of our misery; it’s livestreams that are filling the void of concerts. Now before the naysayers claim that I’m insinuating it’s the same emotional thrill of a concert, that’s not the point I’m making at all. It’s NOT going to be the same. It’s virtual. You can never triumph the sound, atmosphere and energy of physically being stood on the artist’s territory. Still, being sat in front of your television, laptop, VR (rich bastards) or whatever device you’re using ain’t a half bad substitute.

What’s also revivifying is bands embracing the differentiation and create unique angles for the fans to interact like they never have before. Take The Hives for example, the exemplify a riveting band on a normal day. The madness continued on their stream(s) when they encouraged audience participation by letting them phone in and vote for songs which were collecting dust in their vault and hadn’t been played for years. You wouldn’t have the opportunity to do that before this monstrosity happened. Good on them for attempting to break new ground.

It’s not just that though; the heart is still there. Fans from all around the world are watching together at the same time wherever they’re located. In their living room, bedroom, wardrobe (dare I ask what you’re doing in there). The band are playing for the first time in what feels like forever and everyone is spectating on their fresh trims or overgrow in some cases. Most of all, you get to hear them play without having to watch clips from over a year ago. Plus, it’s live! It’s happening right now! It’s refreshing, it’s ecstatic and for us music fans it’s paradise. If that’s not filling the void for live gigs in this pandemic, nothing ever will.

It’s 2010. Your music is dominating the Billboard charts, every radio station is playing the singles from your number one album, venturing to the shops is even an experience when you’re getting mobbed by impressionable fans that would give their right arm just for the items in your basket with your finger prints on, you’re charming every prime-time host with your wittiness and humble nature. Life couldn’t get much higher than this. Literally it can’t; fast forward ten years and you’re preparing to perform your twelfth night at Butlins promoting an album that is being marketed to families that might fork out on it because you’re signing after the show and the Mum used to have a crush on you a decade ago. No, I’m not describing Olly Murrs’ career. This is the common scenario for most mainstream artists from the past ten years.

Let me start by saying, yes, the music industry is ruthless. No scrap that, it’s run by malignant, soulless corporates that crave money and will do whatever means necessary to keep the working peasants’ wallets magnetically clinging to them. When the next craze comes along that attracts the ‘kids’ they’ll ditch the last one and start promoting the ‘new kid in town.’ Like a obsessive child going from collecting Toy Story figures before abandoning them for Marvel figures as it’s the latest ‘thing’. Yep, it’s really like that – you’ve got verification from your favourite blogger ‘Earie Entertainment.’

I’ll pause my prejudice against the industry to propose a question: What artists from 2020 can you see still selling out stadiums after 50 years? Even 20 years? Fuck it, even 10 years? If my question isn’t too irrebuttable (which it is) and you can answer anyone I’m sure it’d be minuscule amount. To put it bluntly, when the Tik Tok catastrophe is finally sent to the deepest pits of hell, Doja Cat won’t headlining anywhere besides her living room. There’ll be a new craze and the child ‘figure’ analogy comes into immediate affect again.

Don’t think that perhaps I didn’t contemplate some of you critiquing my argument – “Well… Errrmmm…. No… You can’t prove anything, you haven’t given examples Mr Earie Entertainment” blah blah blah. I’m getting to that. Remember Katy Perry? You’d turn any corner and her songs would be blaring out of every New Look shop in the country. Her ‘Teenage Dream’ album back in 2010 sold over 12 Million copies, her single ‘Roar’ has achieved 3.2 Billion views on YouTube and counting. Yet, where is she now? Oh wait, my mistake, she released an album in 2017 called Witness. Amazing! It sold a whopping 840,000 copies worldwide. Is that it? I mean, for an ‘international pop star’ that’s quite low, don’t you think? Oh well, maybe her most recent single has revived her career…. ‘Teary Eyes’ got 1.7 Million views in three months. Ouch. That hurts and I’m far from a fan.

Though obviously it’s a different class, the likes of Bowie at the same stage into their career were still releasing material that shattered the charts. ‘Ashes To Ashes’, ‘Let’s Dance’ and ‘China Girl’ are just a few examples of tracks he’d released in the eighties. Over fifty years on from when he begun his tracks are still being played religiously in supermarkets, on the radio and even on Spotify by a new generation of fans.

I’m not comparing the two musically but just in terms of relevance. Katy Perry’s hits are still frequently played but a handful isn’t enough to stand the test of time. She’s already playing substantially smaller venues than she did in her very short lasted prime. How long will the declination continue? Bowie even before he retired from touring sold out stadiums across world. Could she do that in 20 years time? I doubt it.

This isn’t a ‘let’s laugh at Katy Perry’ gathering though. She’s just one of the many examples where this is applicable. Just look (and laugh) at Jesse J, Little Mix, Rita Ora, Olly Murrs… I could go on. People just don’t care. Even on familiar territory for me in rock and indie – where are the likes of James Bay, The Black Keys or Jake Bugg now? All chart topping artists that played arenas at some point in their career but now go unnoticed. Even within rap the likes of Dizzee Rascall, Professor Green and others got outshined by the Soundcloud/grime generation.

Without sounding too much like a cynical ‘get awf my lawwwn!’ old man stereotype, the youth of today just don’t have enough attention span for longevity to exist. Streaming platforms allow access to any artist by the touch of people’s finger tips. Often they’ll heavily plug whatever is popular among teens and cater to their tastes on the ‘daily mix’ playlist. As that gets updated, the old favourite artists are a distant memory unless somehow their music either rejuvenates to the current ‘hip’ sound. That happens to very few. Most get the ‘Olly Murrs treatment’ – I’m trademarking that now – where the public’s memory has been wiped of their existence like the Man In Black were involved.

I’m not going to deny that every artist has their downfalls in terms of their dominance of the industry. Kiss are the epitome of this. After becoming established with the makeup and the dumb-fun, ludicrous rock songs people became bored; the band were on life support coming close to falling into obscurity with declining record sales and ticket numbers. What did they do? They took the makeup off, rebranded themselves to a hair metal band for twenty years. When people got bored of that they put the makeup back on and reunited with Ace and Peter. Whoopee! They’re a household name again. They have a legacy.

The trouble with the majority of mainstream artists nowadays, is they’re very one dimensional. Very few can actually rebrand themselves enough to keep their audience invested in their awe, characteristics or style. One of the few that has from recent times is Lady Gaga, she’s consistent yet ever evolving and it’s kept enough people intrigued. Although as loved among fandom her last two album were/are, it’s only had a brush on mainstream culture and lightyears away from the impact her first two albums had on the industry. Yet artists like Katy Perry – not to pick on her too much – lack the pizazz enough to maintain an interest among their once so called ‘fans.’ It’s perceived as a ‘phase’ in retrospect. They were once teenage dreaming now they’re cramped in a corner sobbing to Billie Eilish.

Maybe I’m being too over-analytic. Maybe this is just part of the ever-evolving industry. Maybe the quality is declining. Maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves because afterall you’re my wonderwa…. Wrong blog. Ahem. My point is there’s an infinite amount of possibilities as to why it’s happening but it’s definitely concerning for the industry. There’ll be no ‘legends’ of tomorrow if this continues. Even worse, it could mean a slim amount of artists breakthrough the industry enough to establish a following. Meaning a declination of larger gigs, lack of festival headliners and more unneeded struggle for the live music sector. Who knows? Let’s just hope our favourite modern artists are enough to make the cut now.

What constitutes as a “celebrity” nowadays is insulting. It has been mentioned more times than the earth rotates in a week yet people still gobble this nonsense up with a side of fries and Coca-Cola. It’s ludicrous. Has society really subsided this far into the abyss? If John Lennon somehow time traveled and saw these ‘Insta-famous’ waxworks making a career posing in front of a smart phone he’d probably rather get shot (edgy, aren’t I?) and who can blame him? There’s nothing momentous about fame anymore. Where’s the awe in a celebrity when Bob down the street can make a video of himself miming to Katy Perry and get Millions of followers and views? No talent. No class. Just meaningless.

Let’s start with the most obvious abomination… Reality television – dun, dun dun! Let’s be honest. Don’t lie to yourself. We’ve all watched it at some point in our lives and have most likely been invested and gripping onto our seats every evening. That’s acceptable; it is entertaining. What I don’t understand is how these ‘stars’ warrant being worshiped. What’s so influential about them? Their profession is to read a script with their monotonous mumbling voices with the expectation that you’re foolish enough to believe it. Yet people want to emulate them by purchasing their products, fawning over their social media posts, vote for the same political party… I could go on forever.

Celebrities with integrity in the past who received that attention actually possessed something unique. Just look at the political persuasions. When other celebrities advocate for a party it would be relating to an aspect of their career. When Johnny Rotten back in the day influenced votes he didn’t need to spam it all over his Instagram it was communicated through his music. Which y’know, required talent. If he made a speech at a show it would be relating to his career. Why would you be swayed by people that start a career just to become famous? There’s no correlation at all. Am in the Twilight Zone!? It makes no sense at all!

What’s even more insulting is the people that aspire to be them. Since the Kardashian’s appeared on TV it’s been filled with untalented hacks trying to emulate them. Just look at the abominations known as Geordie Shaw or Jersey Shaw. Every individual on the show wakes up every day just praying they’ll have even a fraction of their fame. Yet people are even inspired by the impersonators and decide to impersonate them… Arrgggghhhhhhh!! The rage!

Anyways, before I fall off track, I’ll have to rephrase my initial point: being a celebrity just isn’t respectable anymore. Very few people are lasting more than five minutes in the limelight. Look at pop music. Since every dancing buffoon on Tik Tok or every Kim Kardashian wannabe has become famous there’s been no longevity. After five minutes ‘the next big thing’ is fortunate to get a show at Butlins. There’s a few exceptions but where’s the Lady Gaga’s or the One Direction’s? After a while no one cares. Fame isn’t lasting because IT’S SO EASY TO BECOME FAMOUS. The new generation just moves onto the next in line. For god’s sake, their attention span is short enough as it is. This just makes it worse.

Which leads me onto my next point. TikTok. That thing. A mindless invention intended for fun that has made people famous. Yep, you read that right. Famous. Charlie D’Amelio has made a career from miming and dancing in her bedroom at 16 years old. She has 29.9 Million followers on Instagram. Is it just me or is that a little… EXCESSIVE!? This makes no sense. This is what it takes nowadays to get mobbed by thousands of smartphones when you walk on the street!? I mean, don’t get me wrong, making millions of dollars from dancing in your bedroom sounds like a tremendous deal to me. The trouble is, now everyone’s aspiring to do exactly the same thing. This just continues the diminish the term ‘celebrity’ and just makes it lose even more integrity. YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

There’s plenty more I can say on this matter but you’d probably fall asleep on your keyboards so let’s just quickly conclude this post. THE CELEBRITY IS DEAD. We’re too far gone now to revive it. The damage has been done and it’s irreversible. Nonetheless we can still pay our respects to the memory of what once was a highly regarded status and appreciate the one’s with talent. There’s still plenty. For now, let’s just share a moment of silence together to remember our dear beloved friend the ‘celebrity.’

Twitter last night had a meltdown. Thousands of tears damaged devices. Many individual’s feelings were scarred forever. Why you may ask? LIAM GALLAGHER IS HEADLINING A MAJOR FESTIVAL! Wait… What? Isn’t that a great thing? One of the most successful solo rock artists in the UK whose just come off a sold out arena tour from the largest venues in the UK as well as three number one albums and an entire discography of hits on his back. That’s quite the grab by Reading And Leeds if you ask me. Yet people are claiming he’s not worthy? Fuck off.

Before we go ahead and I get labelled as “controversial” for not mentioning this, I know there’s a lack of women headliners. This is an issue with the industry; there is a lack of female artists within the mainstream outside of pop. There’s some fantastic female bands that aren’t getting the ‘break’ they deserve. I know. It’s shameful. I just want to know one thing: How’s this Liam’s fault? He didn’t tiptoe into Lady Gaga’s mansion and lock her in the basement so she couldn’t answer the phone when the promoters rang. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if some people genuinely believed this with their delusion.

“Oh he’s already headlined so many times, give someone new a chance” sobs the 13 year old Harry Styles fans. News flash: Liam’s never headlined as a solo artist. Funny that, isn’t it? You’d think the outcry it received he’s hogged every spot on the lineup for ten years running. He hasn’t. The last time he performed at Reading was 2017 subbing for Muse. SUBBING. Not headlining. On the other hand Post Malone co-headlined at the last Reading Festival in 2019. That’s not ‘too recent’ though, is it? The majority of people who are furious over this are just using excuses. It’s like a spoiled brat proclaiming “it’s not fair” to their parents because they only got a new XBox and not a Playstation as well. Just because they like Post Malone he’s exempt from the discussion. If you’re going to make claims at least be fair, yeah?

Then there’s the worst people of all. Satan himself resurrected in human form. The “Noel was the talented one” parade. You make me want to smash my head into a wall so hard that I’d get a concussion. First of all, if Noel headlined (which he couldn’t as he hasn’t had as much mainstream success as a solo artist) you’d still rage tweet that he’s there. Don’t lie, you’re just looking for an excuse to get flames and pitchforks out your closet. Secondly, if you dimwits knew the vaguest thing about Oasis you’d realize that Noel wrote the songs and Liam elevated them with his voice, attitude and stage persona. They needed each other. Could you imagine ‘Wonderwall’ being a colossal hit if Noel sang on record. Just don’t even bother with that argument. Please, just don’t.

So, before you start with your “stop riding Liam’s coattails” (or should I say parkatails, get it!?) argument, just remember, these festivals wouldn’t book him to headline if there was no demand. Clearly he’s still popular. Don’t lie to yourselves. When you’re drunk from your two WKD’s, you’ll be screaming your lungs out to ‘Wonderwall’ and ‘Champagne Supernova’. How could you not? They’re classics made to be sung by millions. That’s why Liam’s perfect for festivals. Deal with it.

You get them every so often – an album released by a classic band whose career spans 50 years where you listen to it front to back and think ‘that wouldn’t look out of place with their best work… Did those dinosaurs really make an album that good!?’ It’s a pleasant surprise! Just look at Styx’s ‘The Mission’ in 2017 or The Monkees’ ‘Good Times’ in 2016 both those albums showcased that they recaptured the mojo that we didn’t even think still existed. Deep Purple’s ‘Whoosh’ has emulated that and given us the most entertaining album of the year. If they can do it, why can’t other classic bands? Did no one wake them up and inform the members that hibernating season is over? Wake up and give us another gem in your catalogue not something that’s so unbearably average you pity it!

I know I keep saying it but Deep Purple’s ‘Whoosh’ is exceptional. Everything from the songwriting to the production is slick (well played Bob Ezrin) and it explodes boisterousness; it genuinely sounds like the band were enjoying making the record. Whilst at the same time they don’t go on a cringe induced late career crisis and desperately try to sound youthful again. That’s what makes it fun. They’re not trying to reinvent themselves, they’re just doing what they’ve always done but have made it sound refreshing. Most of all…. IT’S STILL DEEP PURPLE! There’s screeching keyboards interacting with the ferocious guitar, the funky bass, blaring drums and Ian Gillan’s iconic voice leading the troupe. How can you get more Deep Purple than that?

Yet, most classic bands can’t seem to grasp that. I don’t know whether it’s because they’ve released every possible sound or they lack motivation so just write a song with “baybay!!” at the end of every verse and then throw the album at the fans just to appease them. Either way, the quality has been dropping rapidly for the majority of classic rock bands over recent years. Kiss’ ‘Monster’ had about as much roar or bite as a hamster, remind me to visit the ‘dimension’ from Aerosmith’s ‘Music From Another Dimension’ if I ever have insomnia and it pains me to say it but Alice Cooper’s ‘Paranormal’ with Bob Ezrin on production was too normal and anything but bizarre (sorry Alice!)

The point I’m trying to make is most classic bands new material either sounds like they forgot their meds so they’re barely awake in the studio or they’ve just awoken from the stone age and begin using every computerized effect in existence. There’s no balance. It’s either one or the other. In the latter example, I’m not saying you cannot evolve if you’re a classic band (actually that’s encouraged) just try to be more subtle about it rather than dropping a nuclear bomb of auto-tune on your fans.

The songwriting from these bands too. Geez. This is a direct quote from the chorus of a track on Kiss’ last album from the song ‘Wall Of Sound:’

“And it all comes down
To the wall of sound
Yeah, and it all comes down”

We all know Kiss are infamous for dumb fun lyrics but that just looks so unmotivated it’s depressing. A five year old could’ve constructed that. This is coming from the same band that wrote ‘100,000 Years’!? What a joke. What makes Deep Purple’s songwriting so interesting is it’s ridiculous but they’re self aware and make it work to their favor. In fact they go out their way to make it superlative and you smile along with them. It’s done naturally not forced and it’s refreshing.

This leads onto my final point; have some fun for fucks sake. Most of the albums these older bands release sounds like it’s a chore to them. You’d think someone had a gun to their head. There’s no enthusiasm. Steven Tyler on Aerosmith’s last album just sounded like he was daydreaming about doing cocaine in the 70’s and monotonously singing off a piece of paper. No layers of production on that album could sugarcoat that. Ian Gillan on the other hand sounds like he’s putting in maximum effort with his vocals. He’s actually emphasizing words and giving fans the best vocal performance from him in some time. The energy also translates with the rest of the band too and there’s a brilliant chemistry.

Anyways, to sum this up. Classic bands need to step up. If Deep Purple can do it in their 70’s with enough albums to fill a shed, there’s no excuse for other artists. Give the fans what they want: A passionate album with the classic elements fueled with excitement. Is it really that hard?