Yesterday I happened to watch an interview with a fairly new band who I’d just discovered having no idea on anything about them beyond the music. And…. My god, it was BORING. They should rename their style to rock n dull (man). I mean, do you have a single trait of personality? Why the monotonous voice? Why the somber expression that makes it look like you’ve just spent the weekend travelling with Dominic Cummings?
WHERE’S THE STORIES?
THE ATTITUDE?
A STATEMENT?
A STRONG OPINION?
A JOKE?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing…
“Why is my [insert generic rock band] not topping the majority of festivals? They’ve got the show, the looks and good songs! Why!? Why!? Why!?” whines the standard clueless individual on a Wireless Festival post. There’s a simple answer to that. It’s because they can’t carry an interesting conversation, let alone captivate 100,000 people.
It’s not particularly ‘my thing’ per se but at least some younger rappers that top the festivals are actually insightful. Whether it’s voicing their opinion on current matters or providing us with some sort of insight into interesting aspects of their lives.
Some modern bands just go into depth about their camping trip thoroughly explaining: “Well, I’m going fishing, then…. I think.. I’ll drink two beers and go to bed at the recommended time of 10:30pm. We like to get up early to go bird spotting if the site owners allow us.” YAWN. Yet you’ll listen to that same artist’s songs and they’ll usually be pseudo punk trying to weave in as much forced aggression as humanly possible. ‘What leads you to believe it’s forced?’ you may ask yourself. Well, for starters if they really were passionate then why aren’t they even attempting to act infuriated on interviews?
This is infuriating. In fact, it’s so infuriating that I’m more infuriated than the bands that are claiming to be “infuriated” in their music rather than actually explain to us (the listener) why they are actually so infuriated beyond that. AAAARRRGGHHHH!!!
Don’t get me started on the people that are always claiming that some of these tedious, uninspired blokes wearing a branded shirt they’ve been sponsored to put on by their managers are “coming to save rock n roll.” Spoken like they’re knights in shining Armour dashing over the horizon on their horses ready to fight the indie hipsters that supposedly “hijacked their genre.” These same people will complain that a middle aged Liam Gallagher gone solo is topping their festivals whilst their golden boys struggle to sub the smaller stages. There’s answer to that. I’ll let you figure it out for yourselves but here’s a clue: It’s related to Liam being arrogant, quick witted and dis/likable (whatever your stance is on him). It makes him interesting.
It does make you wonder if these people actually realise that rebellion, brashness and most importantly personality is what makes the genre intriguing. You want to look at rock artist and think ‘wow, this person is living their best life’ not ‘wow, this person clearly buys from Top Shop.’ You don’t compare the likes of Mick Jagger or Lemmy Kilmister to the regular at your local pub. They emulate rock n roll, put the ‘star’ in the word ‘rockstar’ whilst keeping us intrigued by their brilliant music. So. Please. For the love of God. Keep us interested or just pack up and go home, kid.
Earie Entertainment 